Sword Art Online Chapter 16.5 // Impressions

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This… um… whatever this is supposed, is set between Chapters 16 and 17 of the Sword Art Online light novel, which is what I assume is Episodes 10 and 11 of the anime. I was informed that it was a fanfiction that Reki Kawahara, the author of the light novels, liked and posted on his blog, but took down shortly after. But nowadays I’m hearing that Kawahara actually did write this himself as a “deleted scene” from the light novels. Whatever the story behind this is, I know this is gonna be awkward…

Why am I doing this, even though I hate this show’s very existence? I’m just curious, that’s all.

WARNING: The following contains strong sexual content. Reader discretion is advised.

OK, so this is written from Kirito’s POV. He and Asuna sit close to each other, butt-naked for about a minute or two and already this feels awkward, both in-story and out. It’s their first time, what’d you expect? And I still don’t get whey they decide to have sex now of all times instead of once they’re out of the game. Because apparently when you’re stuck in a video game where the only means of escape is either victory or death, getting married and having sex is a good thing.

Reading on, this line comes up: ” I was only 14 the first time that I ever logged into SAO. The winter of 8th grade. I don’t want to really recall how I was at that time, but I sacrificed all of the sexual energy that starts to awaken in all boys around that age in order to immerse myself into games.” …Um. What. The. Fuck? Holy crap, I wasn’t this introverted when I was 14. At least I want to recall being 14, especially the part where I said “Fuck you” to middle school. OK, no I didn’t say that, but you get the idea.

Also, apparently, Kirito suspected Asuna was older than him. Which I find ridiculous because Asuna doesn’t even know Kirito’s age. And these two are supposed to be a couple? OK, moving right along…

“Even if I didn’t have the knowledge or the experience, I had never loved or had felt such intense feelings for someone like I have for Asuna.”

I’ve seen better romance in Star Wars than this. OK, so FINALLY they rock the casbah. And apparently, I was wrong. Virtual sex is on the same level as real-life sex. I was under the impression that it was something like how it was done in Demolition Man.

“When I eventually reached the soft valleys that were the top of her breasts which had been hidden up until now, her whole body leapt and twitched. Her arms gripped tighter together and she shook her head from side to side.”
“Asuna…move your arms…”
“B…But…”
“I want to see your breasts, Asuna.”

I think I want to shoot myself now… And we’re not even 1/4 of the way through. OK, I’m still reading this and it gets even more graphic. I don’t think I want to read anymore to spare myself from my overactive imagination. But I must. *reads on* Oh my goodness. Why am I reading this?!

Anyway, the story stops being awkward for a moment as Kirito reflects on during SAO’s development, they opted not to include genitals in the player characters since they wouldn’t have any use for that. But apparently the male trial players didn’t feel right not having a dick. Apparently they’re that worried that they won’t be able to pee in the game. What? That’s bullshit. Who writes this ju– Oh…

So after the beta test period, they put in genitals. Also, it was so that SAO players won’t change the gender of their characters.

OK, so how did this guy have a girl as a player character? Must be another inconsistency.

Another thing is that they somehow let the game get released even though there is a Hot Coffee function. The problem is that there were minors playing SAO at time of launch. How old was Silica around that time? Like, 12? Yeah, that would cause alot of controversy. But hey, no one outside SAO other than the developers seemed to know.

And now after that, it goes back to awkward. And I mean very awkward!! I’m sitting here reading it, completely dumbfounded by how uncomfortable reading this is. So finally we get to THE line.

“I could feel my hot sperm gushing deep into Asuna as she trembled in yet another climax. Two years worth of semen made a glopping noise as it flowed endlessly into Asuna. Every time my penis twitched, fireworks would go off in my head.”

What does glopping mean? Is that even a word? Judging by the fact that my spell-checker doesn’t recognize it, I wouldn’t think so.

And that’s how it ends.

Jeez Louise. Now I know why this wasn’t in the novel or the anime. This is a goddamn porno! Remind me never to write a sex scene in any kind of romance I write, especially one as needlessly graphic as this. No. Just… no.

I feel dirty…

8 thoughts on “Sword Art Online Chapter 16.5 // Impressions

  1. Radkids

    Kirito was 16in this fic. It’s definitely not canon and the writer of the light novel is not the writer of the anime or script…as well as the plot mistake of there being ‘ sweat ‘ and things of that nature when according to the book that’s a no. .

    Reply
  2. haiyami

    This was from his prototype version of Sword Art Online. This isn’t actually from the one he published as a book. HE wrote a different version which was much longer and more detailed for a contest but went over the limit. If you feel there are contradictions in this such as “sweat” existing in SAO, its due to the different versions. He changed a few things in the actual published novel. His original prototype was online a long time ago. I don’t know if anyone has his full prototype novel of SAO, but there are some vast differences, including the fact that the 2 year skip in the Novels one and two, is actually shortened and has more detail on what happened during that time frame, periodically mentioning floors 2 and 64. The author made a statement that he will actually publish a separate novel to illustrate what happened in that 2 year period from floors 2 to 64.

    Reply

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