SAO II #5 & 6: Did you forget who the protagonist is?

Aren't they wasting their  bullets doing that?

Aren’t they wasting their bullets doing that?

Anyway, I guess it’s time to start the Bullet of Bullets, which I find to be a really stupid-sounding name, so it’s abbreviated as BoB. Heh heh. Bob…

Anyway, entering the BoB requires the player to enter personal info (real name, address, phone number, email address, etc.) Entering false information or not entering any info is allowed, but anyone who does that lose eligibility for the top prizes. I suppose they need that information to verify the winners. Since Kirito and Sinon signed up at the same time, they’re both in the same block, but different branches, which gives them both an opportunity to enter the main tournament.

Anyway, as it turns out, GGO is developed by an American developer, which I find that a First-Person Shooter MMO made in America to be typical, since that’s the kind of game meant to cater to ‘Murican hardcore gamers.

So anyway, while Sinon is dressing into her combat gear (hooray unnecessary fanservice), Kirito properly introduces himself to Sinon, which leads to her doing what any idiotically-written female in a light novel would do: Smack the accidental pervert across the face. Yawn. Seen it a million times.

Anyway, Sinon’s friend, Kyouji Shinkawa/Spegiel or who I’ve been calling him “Most definitely not Death Gun”, comes by to cheer him on as the BoB Qualifiers begin. During Kirito’s first match, I kinda sorta understand the practicality of the lightsaber, but it’s the fact that Kirito  the Mary Stu of all people, is the only one using one, ruins it.

Gee, there's no way Kirito's gonna be able to dodge that with that bullet so close to his--

Gee, there’s no way Kirito’s gonna be able to dodge that with that bullet so close to his–

--...Whatever.

–…Whatever.

Kirito wins the first round. What a surprise.

Crossing my fingers that one day that Kirito accidentally burns his hair off by doing that.

Crossing my fingers that one day that Kirito accidentally burns his hair off by doing that.

Anyway, once he teleports back into the lobby, he is greeted by Death Gun, who wants to know if Kirito’s the real deal. Kirito believes he may have met him somewhere before, only having his suspicions confirmed by a tattoo on his arm. He’s a member of the Laughing Coffin, the player killing guild of ne’er-do-wellers from SAO. This sends Kirito into a state of panic as he remembers him killing a couple of their guild during SAO through this half-assed animation that A-1 puts out.

You know, there's a thing called "Show, Don't Tell" Basically showing us how these "ten people died" instead of just telling us. You probably have no idea of that because the writing here is so stupid that it-- Oh hey, Klein!!! Best character right there.

You know, there’s a thing called “Show, Don’t Tell” Basically showing us how these “ten people died” instead of just telling us. You probably have no idea of that because the writing here is so stupid that it– Oh hey, Klein!!! Best character right there.

Anyway, Kirito’s next battles basically consist of him running up to his opponent, letting his lightsaber do all the work and attacking head-on, supposedly assuming that his opponent’s accuracy lowers to that of an Imperial Stormtrooper when faced against Kirito, while Sinon’s seem to have a bit of logical thinking. Both make it to the finals where both strategies face off and surprise, surprise Kiirto’s is the more superior one. However, they decide to settle this one-shot duel-style ten meters apart, sniper rifle vs. lightsaber. However, that gives Sinon the advantage.

Actually, Sinon, when facing off against Kirito, Hecate's hit rate is multiplied by 0 So in reality, your hit rate is actually 0%.

Actually, Sinon, when facing off against Kirito, Hecate’s hit rate is multiplied by 0 So in reality, your hit rate is actually 0%.

However, the match ends with Kirito slicing the bullet in half Deadpool-style (I thought bullets disintegrate when deflected by a lightsaber) and Sinon resigning.

"I'd much rather make girs my bitches rather than kill them. By the way, would you like to be my bitch these next episodes?"

“I’d much rather make girs my bitches rather than kill them. By the way, would you like to be my bitch these next episodes?”

These episodes were rather boring, but barely terrible. I’m not convinced that GGO is supposedly “the best story arc” thus far. I still see the same issues from the first season present. As far as I’m concerned, this arc is currently about as bad as the Aincrad arc so far, but not as bad as Fairy Dance, and Sinon has pretty much lost all of what made her character remotely interesting almost instantly. Like I mentioned before, Kirito’s like a black hole who sucks the good personality out of female characters and makes them absolutely terrible, the same way he did with Asuna and Suguha. History repeats itself.

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