SAO II #13: Gun Gale Offline

He's climbing in your windows. He's shooting your people up, trying to off 'em. So you need to hide your kids, hide your wife And hide your husband, 'cause they offing everybody out here.

He’s climbing in your windows. He’s shooting your people up, trying to off ’em.
So you need to hide your kids, hide your wife
And hide your husband, ’cause they offing everybody out here.

End of the arc time, guys. What to expect? Usually the formula goes like this: Kirito wins via some cop-out deus ex machina; Bad guy having a really stupid motivation, or none at all, for being evil.

In the previous two episodes, we learned a few things from Death Gun: For starters, Death Gun is made of at least three persons: One that is logged into GGO, while the other two breaks into a potential victim’s home and injects a lethal drug, while at the same time watching a livestream to perfectly time it so that it looks like Death Gun killed a person in the game. In order to pull this off, the victim must have two things:

  1. They must have entered their personal information in the BoB registration so the guy outside can find their address.
  2. They must have an outdated security lock so that it’s easy to break in.

And really, this could’ve been easily explained if it wasn’t for the constant stating of the obvious and the ever-so-detrimental-to-the-plot focus on Sinon’s ass. Again, when you spend a whole episode stating the obvious while making constant focus on Sinon’s butt in a sad attempt to titillate the horny fanboys while trying to make a serious moment, you lose the “serious” part. Also, Kirito managed to correctly deduce every single detail of that plan with no prior knowledge of it whatsoever. And fanboys say Kirito’s not a Gary Stu.

Surprise, surprise. Death Gun has a sword. An estoc, to be exact. What, is the sword named "Death Gun" too?

Surprise, surprise. Death Gun has a sword. An estoc, to be exact. What, is the sword named “Death Gun” too?

Anyway, as for Death Gun, who goes by Sterben (Which is German for “death”) in GGO: Nobody remembers his name because he never said his name because Kirito decided not to ask for it. Idiot. Turns out he has his own sword. Hey, remember when this game was called Gun Gale Online and not Sword Gale Online? Anyway, during the fight, Kirito recognizes that he has the same red eyes and similar mask as a certain LC member, which allows him to remember his SAO name: The Red-Eyed XaXa.

Roll cred-- OK now you're just stupidly shoehorning in the arc title!

Roll cred– OK now you’re just stupidly shoehorning in the arc title!

Using Sinon’s targeting reticle to distract him, Kirito slices XaXa in half, eliminating him from the BoB. Anyway, with Death Gun finished, Kirito and Sinon are the last two players left. Sinon tells Kirito her address, which is close to the hospital where he’s logged into GGO. He asks Sinon if he wants to head over there afterwards, and she declines. (remember that part by the way) Anyhoo, they still need to finish the BoB. The first BoB ended with the last two players winning, since the one that had the advantage was caught off-guard by a present grenade, which is one player giving the other a live grenade and it goes off with both players nearby. Kirito and Sinon decide to do that, which brings the third BoB to end with a bang. Literally.

So wait, if two people get killed by a grenade at the same time, then doesn't that mean that both should lose, therefore nobody wins? I don't know how exactly that works. Or am I thinking too hard about it?

So wait, if two people get killed by a grenade at the same time, then doesn’t that mean that both should lose, therefore nobody wins? I don’t know how exactly that works. Or am I thinking too hard about it?

After Shino logs out, she checks for any of Death Gun’s accomplices inside her house. Shinkawa comes to her house to congratulate her on her victory in the BoB and to reveal, to the surprise of absolutely no one, that he’s Death Gun. Or rather, one-third of Death Gun. XaXa is his brother and their parents run a hospital where they have access to the lethal drug. Although before this BoB, he was logged in as Sterben/Death Gun so he could kill Zexceed.

Really...? That's the reason why you killed him? Because he said some bad things about agility-types? That's a pretty dumb reason. This is exactly what Jack Thompson was afraid of.

Really…? That’s the reason why you killed him? Because he said some bad things about agility-types? That’s a pretty dumb reason. This is exactly what Jack Thompson was afraid of.

Turns out Shinkawa grew creepily obsessed with Shino after learning she killed that bad guy, which is why he gave Death Gun a Type 54. And then he gets REALLY creepy, like Sugou-levels of creepy. And that’s not a good thing.

I'm beginning to wonder if the only villain archetype Kawahara can write after Kayaba is "sick, psychotic rapist". Whatever gets a cheap reaction out of the viewer.

I’m beginning to wonder if the only villain archetype Kawahara can write after Kayaba is “sick, psychotic rapist”. Whatever gets a cheap reaction out of the viewer.

Anyway, what’d you expect, as the perfectly timed Deus ex Machina-creator Kazuto bursts in to the rescue. Whoop-de-FUCKING-DOO!!

If last season’s Episode 24 proved what this show fails at, among other things, it’s that there’s absolutely no way this show can portray rape without it being offensive, not being a cheap way to make drama, and making the victim into a mere object for the hero to save. You do not pull this same stunt twice and expect me to just go along with it with no problems. Because guess what? It is a problem when a show takes the easy way out, especially Sword Art Online. It’s also a problem that people actually and seriously attempt to defend such idiotic, offensive, and effortless excuse of writing, which, if you ask me, only makes them just as bad since they allow this garbage to get away with whatever it wants. Seriously, watch Black Lagoon for an example on how to portray rape in the not-offensive way. Believe it or not, I tried to give this season a fair chance, despite the fans saying it’s the best arc (and I never listen to the fans anyway, because I found this arc utter crap), but every single time it convinces me why I should never give Sword Art Online any chances at all. Because when you let your guard down for even one second, it drops to the bottom of the barrel. Well, guess what? That’s Strike 3. You’re Out. No more second chances. I’m not stupid enough to fall for Kawahara’s bullshit, as he supposedly thinks the viewer is to fall for this. It has, once again and unsurprisingly, screwed itself over badly by being what it is and what it always will be: The most tasteless, disgusting, misogynistic, insulting garbage to plague anime in recent years. Fuck you, Sword Art Online!

Well, Log Horizon 2′s starting next weekend. At least that one isn’t offensively gross.

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