E3 2015 // Impressions

TL;DR version of the follwoing post.

TL;DR version of the follwoing post.

OK, I haven’t done a new E3 thoughts post in a long while, so I might as well, considering I thought this was the weakest E3 in quite some time…

Bethesda E3 Conference
Pros: Bethesda’s conference was pretty entertaining for the most part. It was short and simple, but straight to the point. I always say that most First-Person Shooter games are all the same, but Doom actually looked decent.
Cons: They only showed maybe a few games. Granted, these are games I’m sure will go well, but,a little more variety would help
Grade: B

Microsoft Xbox E3 Conference
Pros: Hey, they’re finally putting Xbox 360 backwards compatibility into the Xbox One. Also they are giving an Xbox One compilation of Rareware games (and that does include Battletoads) for $30. That’s basically a dollar per game. It’s good to see Microsoft do this, even though they drove Rare to the ground and its key members left to form Playtonic Games. Also, that Virtual Reality stuff was pretty cool. And Kinect is offically dead, and nothing of value was lost.
Cons: Does a super-awesome new controller that costs more than a third of the console it’s used for need its own trailer? I don’t think so. Why would you announce a Gears of War remaster for Xbox One at the same conference you announce 360 games compatibility? Oh wait, because it can’t be played on your Xbone. *cough*cashgrab* Even though I like the VR demonstration, I don’t think I’m ready to embrace VR gaming. Heck, I don’t even care for First-Person Shooters. They’re all the same.
Grade: D+

EA E3 Conference
Pros: Well… Star Wars: Battlefront and Unravel looked interesting.
Cons: This is EA, voted Worst Company in America twice in a row, so this is gonna be a long one: And what’d you expect; they learned form none of their mistales, considering the new Need for Speed requires you to be always online. You know, the DRM that worked so well for SimCity (2013) that they had to patch for offline play a year after launch. Also, they’re milking their Star Wars license for all it’s worth. I can smell all the DLC and microtransactions. Sure Battlefront is interesting and all, but what makes you think EA won’t pull something underhanded, like release it unfinished and have the player pay $20 extra to patch all the glitches and market it as DLC? And I also do not care about sports games, especially yearly sports game. And, no I do not care about mobile games, either, especially those where you have to pay to play, those games you were notoriously criticized for. Yeah, EA is called “literally Hitler” for a reason (Google it). Kinda extreme, but you get the point.
Grade: D-

Ubisoft E3 Conference
Pros: The presenter for For Honor sounded like he was really into it. Also Anno 2205.  That’s about it.
Cons: I’m gonna say this once: Aisha Tyler isn’t a good host. She was in 2011 or 2012, but nowadays, she’s grating on me. Just Dance and Assassin’s Creed are still a thing, and they are still yearly things too. I’m getting really tired of playing the same game every year. Add some variety or I’ll spend my money somewhere else! Also, Jason Derulo. Most trailers nowadays were all show without any gameplay footage, and Ubisoft was the most guilty of it. Honestly, Ubisoft’s conference wasn’t as much as a snoozefest as EA’s, but nothing interested me. And for gosh’s sake, watch your language!
Grade: D

Sony PlayStation E3 Conference
Pros: The Last Guardian is still alive and dated for next year. Horizon: Zero Dawn actually looks pretty cool for a new IP. The (leaked) Final Fantasy VII remake is a thing, and is in good standing for remakes that aren’t too soon. I guess that’s every– Shenmue MOTHERFUCKIN’ 3, bitch!!!!!!
Cons: I don’t think anyone cares about Call of Duty and Destiny anymore, let alone the fact that PS$ gets exclusive DLC. Speaking of which, I don’t think they understand the point of exclusivity. If it’s exclusive to PS4, it should be on PS4 and PS4 only! The conference dragged after Shenmue 3. This is an issue that extends to all of the conferences except Bethesda: They save their megaton announcements 2/3 of the way through and end weakly. Also, Vita is still dead.
Grade: B-

Nintendo Digital Event
Pros: The Nintendo World Championship were great. I hope they do it every year. Also, I wish they have more Best Buy locations for those, mainly one where I don’t have to travel far. The Muppets-esque presentation was funny. Star Fox Zero, Mario & Luigi: Paper Cut and Super Mario Maker looked interesting. We have a release date for Xenoblade Chronicles X, and we finally see some more of Genei Ibun Roku #FE.
Cons: Very little new stuff was shown. It doesn’t help that some of this stuff, like the recent Smash Bros DLC and the Hyrule Warriors 3DS port was leaked beforehand. And while I am semi-interested in Metroid Prime: Federation Force, it’s gonna take a lot of effort to warm me up to it. And yeah, we’ve already seen what Mario Maker has to offer in the NWC already. Also, it’s cool that Nintendo is giving so much attention to Mario since 2015 is the franchise’s 30th, don’t end it on a Let’s Super Mario montage.
Speaking of Metroid Prime: Federation Force: Do I have to purchase this game to teach you asshats a lesson?
Grade: C-

Square-Enix E3 Conference
Pros: Well, Kingdom Hearts 3 is good to see, and that new JRPG from Tokyo RPG Factory looks intriguing. NieR from Platinum Games, because Platinum can do no wrong. This guy.
Cons: The presenters sounded hella-bored throughout the whole conference. Not to mention the translat There was nothing new shown at the conference. We’ve already seen trilers for Hitman, Rise of the Tomb Raider, Final Fantasy VII remake, and World of Final Fantasy. Show something new for once!
Grade: C-

Yeah, this E3 kinda sucked. Nobody won. Everyone made me lose interest at some point. You know who really won E3 this year? Platinum Games. Why? Because they had Scalebound for Xbone, Star For Zero for Wii U, NieR for PS4, Transformers: Devastion for PS3, PS4, Xbone, 360, PC. Yeah, they got all the bases covered. That, and Shenmue 3, the only thing that kept Sony’s conference a lower grade, are the real winners of E3 this year. Hell, I was so excited to see Shenmue 3 that I backed the Kickstarter the second it went up. Even though I chose not to recieve anything in return, just seeing Shenmue‘s story become complete was enough.

Better luck next year, everyone.

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