Category Archives: Movies

Thoughts about Toonami 2016 and Hopes for 2017

screenshot-12_31_2016-11_45_49-amWell, Toonami had a fairly decent year. Even with 3 1/2 hours, we still had a lot of good stuff (and Dimension W) come to the block. And a bunch of good stuff (and Akame ga Kill!) leave the block. But we’ve had a ton of good news, and I’m gonna go over everything that happened this year, and my thoughts about what each show has brought to the block.

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Seasonal Anime Reviews: Summer 2016

v-a7f-k-rfuglnibktkxquysfcgodrilxhdfxtczui8Seasonal Thoughts: Man, this season was kind of a chore. Honestly, I was about ready to skip this season. Basically a standard Summer anime season.

Y’all spent eight months expecting the new Ghostbusters film to be terrible only for it to actually not be terrible. Turns out the real thing you should’ve been pointing fingers at was Sony’s shitty marketing. As for Suicide Squad, I guess it wasn’t the movie that will save the DC Extended Universe from critics and reviews after all. I guess it’s up to Wonder Woman. If it bombs with the reviewers, this movieverse is screwed. And don’t even get me started on The Killing Joke! I thought I could trust WB Animation with this, but they add some pointless scene with Batman and Batgirl having sex and… URGH!!!

You know what? Go watch Kubo and the Two Strings instead. Oh, and Thunderbolt Fantasy. Watch that too.

Meanwhile in theatres on the opposite side of the globe: I had no intention to watch the Accel World movie, but… Honestly, you can’t even call it a movie, considering it’s actually a 40-minute recap of the TV series and a 40-minute OVA falsely advertised as a full-length movie, therefore ripping off moviegoers expecting to watch a movie. I should be pointing fingers at Sunrise, but, considering that this was penned by Kawahara himself, that can probably mean he must’ve wrote 40 minutes worth of story… If this doesn’t prove that Kawahara has your dick, I don’t know what does.

So I guess August 18, 2016 will be a day that will live in anime infamy as the day a LOT of hopes and dreams of Ash winning a Pokemon League were crushed… Oh, and I guess Bleach ended, or rather it got cancelled… and good riddance! Honestly, everything after Chapter 423/Episode 342 are nothing but Tite Kubo’s drunken fantasies. Continue reading

Seasonal Anime Reviews: Winter 2016

Yeah, a .hack/Sword Art Online crossover. Because the true king of MMO gaming anime needs to return to put this usurper in his place.

Yeah, a .hack/Sword Art Online crossover. Because the true king of MMO gaming anime needs to return to put this usurper in his place.

Seasonal Thoughts: Man, this season’s kinda… eeeeeh. I was right when I said to expect a subpar Winter from a craptastic Fall 2015. I was only really entertained by a few shows. And nope, I didn’t like Erased as much as you wanted me to; I’ll just save you the disappointment. I mostly spent time watching stuff on Toonami and in my backlog, and getting a handle on Bayonetta in Smash. Man, whatever happened to the really good Winter from last year? Was that just a fluke? The fact is that we’ve had four less than subpar anime seasons in a row, which hasn’t happened since Fall ’13 until Summer ’14, and that’s worrisome. About as worrisome as the likelihood that the Ben Affleck-directed Batman movie could get axed. But, don’t worry. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I think the quality of next season will determine the remainder of the year. Not sure about The Batman, though. Well, at least there’s LEGO Batman.

So Deadpool was fun from start to finish. Fun enough for me to forget Fant4stic was a thing. Enough said about that. But seriously, Hollywood? Just because Deadpool was a big success doesn’t mean we should start making every superhero movie R-Rated. It only worked because Deadpool couldn’t work the way it did it was PG-13.

On a more exciting note: Symphogear seasons 4 and 5, baby, YEAH!

On a not-exciting note, freakin’ movies for Sword Art Online and Mahouka, two of 2014’s biggest piles of hot garbage; which means, once again, Aniplex (and A-1, in the case of SAO) has ahold of your dicks. I’ll go into that at a later date, but I’ll just save you the trouble of those movies:

  • In the SAO movie, the bad guy’s a rapist, because Kawahara only follows one rule when it comes to writing bad guys and it’s “all bad guys are rapists.” Heck, I won’t be surprised if the Accel World movie has a rapey guy too, because why the hell not?
  • The Mahouka movie will consist of Crystal Dragon Jesus Donald Trump Onii-sama doing bloody everything, including turn water into wine, and his sister who’s waiting to dryhump him the first chance she gets.

There, that’s money and time saved for something worthwhile.

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Seasonal Anime Reviews: Fall 2015

Deck the halls with boughs of TRAITOR!, Fa la la la la la la la!

Seasonal Thoughts: My goodness, I don’t think I’ve seen a season this bad in a long while. Like the only things worth watching this season in my eyes were One-Punch Man and Gundam. If it were up to me, I’d have dropped everything that started in this season except for those two. It’s no longer OK for me to say Fall 2013 was the worst anime season, especially since this season and every season of 2014 except Fall happened.

And let me tell you something: These generic harem/magic high school junk needs to have a moratorium on them, alongside “OW THE EDGE” and “You’re in the game!” anime. Asterisk War, World Break, Chivalry of a Failed Knight, Absolute Duo, Sky Wizards Academy, Infinite Stratos, and what have you. You’ve seen any one of these, you’ve seen all of them. You have hundred of other possible settings yet you choose a school because how else will the teenage males insert themselves onto the brain-dead protagonists? You get two or three of these per season. Stop it.

And what else should stop is showing the spoiler-y parts of the film in movie trailers? Batman v. Superman, I’m looking directly at you. If there was a trailer that derailed even the slightest interest I’ve had in this movie, it was definitely this one. Terminator: Genisys did the same thing, and that was a deal-killer. And don’t even get me started on Batman having a gun. Yeah, at this point, I’m not regretting my choice in only sticking with Marvel Cinematic Universe and X-Men movies, so that leaves me with 4 superhero films in 2016, 5 if Gambit is still on track.

So what did I think of The Force Awakens? Well, there won’t be any sugarcoating here; I’m going to be blunt about it. IT WAS AMAZE-BALLS! J.J. FOUND A WAY!!!

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Digimon Adventure tri. // First Impressions

Screenshot - 11_20_2015 , 12_29_59 PMDon’t blow this, Toei. I’ve waited a seven month for this. I put up with Sailor Moon Crystal waiting for this. Please don’t blow this.

Digimon Adventure tri., Toei Animation’s six-part original movie sequel to Digimon Adventure and Digimon Adventure 02, is set in the year 2005, six years after the eight DigiDestined’s first adventure to the Digital World. At some point a year prior, the gate to the Digital World inexplicably closed. Now, a digital distortion has appeared and glitched Digimon are terrorizing Odaiba. After three years, the DigiDestined and their Digimon partners reunite and find out the cause of this.

So the first Digimon Adventure tri. movie is one part nostalgia trip, and one part cocktease. One one side, it’s good to see the original eight back in action after 15 years. On the other– Joe apparently has a girlfriend, and Izzy apparently has a crush on Mimi. That’s one ship sunk. And T.K has a girlfriend that’s not Kari!! That’s another sunk ship. God knows if Matt and Sora are still a thing or not! (I sure hope not.) Anyway, it’s kinda unnerving that there’s absolutely no mention of the 02 kids outside of the first five minutes where they get wrecked. Heck, we don’t even know if they’re alive or not. I don’t think the writers have the guts to just kill them off, so I think they’re just M.I.A. or something. That aside, it was an enjoyable first movie that was weakened a bit (not as much as Crystal) by usual Toei QUALITY.

Attack on Titan (Live-Action Films) // Review

Attack-on-Titan-Live-Action-Movie-Cast“That day, Attack on Titan remembered: the terror of being dominated by rather medocre live-action movie adaptations, and the shame of being held captive in its own massive popularity.”

So the Attack on Titan movies has had their theatrical run here in America, and I saw both of them. What did I think of them?

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Seasonal Anime Reviews: Spring 2015

And we all seriously thought that Digimon Adventure Tri. was coming this season. Nope, it's gonna a series of six movies that I'm not gonna be able to watch for some time and will obviously only come out a few years in between! Whatever, Toei, but just do me this one thing: Can you please retcon 02's ending? And make Tai and Sora an item! And Joe and Mimi! And T.K. and Kari! Please, just give my 11-year old self some reassurance!!

And we all seriously thought that Digimon Adventure Tri. was coming this season. Nope, it’s gonna a series of six movies that I’m not gonna be able to watch for some time and will obviously only come out a few years in between! Whatever, Toei, but just do me this one thing: Can you please retcon 02’s ending? And make Tai and Sora an item! And Joe and Mimi! And T.K. and Kari! Please, just give my 11-year old self some reassurance!!

Seasonal Thoughts: You know how last season was kind of a half-and-half ratio of better than decent and less than subpar? Well, the”less than subpar” outweighed the “better than decent” this season, in my opinion. You know what? Forget everything I said about last season being meh. Winter was indeed a strong season, because it at least had several enjoyable shows to me, namely Maria the Virgin WitchDeath Parade, and Yurikuma Arashi. What enjoyable shows did Spring have? Absolutely nothing. Blood Blockade Battlefront, maybe but that didn’t even top Yurikuma Arashi. This season being a drag is the price I gotta pay for a surprisingly good Winter. Talk about a massive step backwards. If you ask me, this Spring is probably one of the weakest seasons in recent years. I guess I was right to not expect anything out of this season, which says alot since I dedicated most of my time this season rewatching older stuff. Or maybe I just watched the wrong shows this season. I guess since I’ve gotten through the worst of it, the rest of the year should be smooth sailing.

And what’s worse is that I thought that Avengers: Age of Ultron would be the most awesome movie I’ve seen this year so far. Nope, it was actually Mad Max: Fury Road. I mean, yeah, Vision was awesome, but that flamethrower-guitar. You just can’t top that shit. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Marvel just couldn’t pass their own bar they set for themselves last year, and I’m not gonna hold my breath for Ant-Man, either.

And what’s even worse than that is that for some reason, Sega thought it would be a great idea to make another Sonic Boom game. Yeah, smart move there, considering the first ones amazingly failed. Maybe it’s a good thing Sega gave Yu Suzuki the license for Shenmue 3. Well, if you say it’s going to be “way better than the first one”, I’m gonna hold you to that.

And what’s even more worse than that is that I have to live in fear and blood-boiling anger of the possibility of more Cross Ange happening. Really, why? I would much rather see more of Accel World than this garbage. I mean, Accel World sucks too, but at least it isn’t infuriating stupid. The lesser of two evils, you know. Seriously, Sunrise. Do not let Fukuda have his way.

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