Tag Archives: The Asterisk War

2016 Anime Year in Review

You know, maybe 2016 wasn't so bad after all. The Cubs did win the World Series this year. Back to the Future Part 2 was off by a year and a couple weeks. Close enough, I guess?

You know, maybe 2016 wasn’t so bad after all. The Cubs did win the World Series this year. Back to the Future Part 2 was off by a year and a couple weeks. Close enough, I guess?

On second thought,. 2016 was a fucking dumpster fire of a year and no amount of booze can make the pain go away.

On second thought,. 2016 was a fucking dumpster fire of a year and no amount of booze can make the pain go away.

Anime 2015 was a fairly decent year, but it came off the heels of a garbage year for anime. 2016 seems so much better now. I’d say 2016 was the antithesis of 2014. 2014 was a fairly good year for most media, but anime that year was garbage. 2016; fairly good year for anime, but a dumpster fire of a year, mostly because of all the celebrity deaths. We should’ve seen it coming when David Bowie and Alan Rickman passed away.

But, y’know, Leonardo DiCaprio did win his first Oscar, and the Cubs did win the World Series for the first time in 108 years, so I guess 2016 wasn’t 100% a dumpster fire. Continue reading

Seasonal Anime Reviews: Spring 2016

$4 Million, down the toilet. And the end result was a game that is "better than nothing." I doubt Inafuune will be trusted with a Kickstarter-backed video game ever again.

$4 Million, down the toilet. And the end result was a game that is “better than nothing.”
I doubt Inafune will be trusted with a Kickstarter-backed video game ever again.

Seasonal Thoughts: This was a good season, way better than the last two Spring season. Like, the weakest show this season (Kabaneri) was still fairly decent, and the least worst show (Ace Attorney) has merits in that the source material is not a pile of shit. Can’t say the same about the adaptation, but I’ll get to that another time. You know, I’ll be surprised that we’ll see a season as good as this before, say…, Fall 2017.

In case you’re wondering where Rin-Ne Season 2 was… I decided not to watch it. If I wanted to be put to sleep watching something, I’d watch the 2003 Hulk film.

Anyway, let’s talk Arrow Season 4 *crickets chirping* …Or let’s not.

So Captain America: Civil War… I pretty much walked into this movie knowing it’s gonna fuck me up emotionally. And it did, Black Panther was badass and I’m super-excited for his solo movie. But damn, why I gotta wait 4 more movies for it? Oh, and Spider-Man was awesome too that I’m actually excited for a Spider-Man movie for the first time in 10 years. That should tide me over until Black Panther.

As for X-Men: Apocalypse: Well, I walked into this movie not expecting it to top X-Men: Days of Future Past or Deadpool, but personally, I liked it. I mean, yeah, it had its issues, like the Quicksilver scene, awesome as that was, happening at literally the most inappropriate moment possible in the film, but it’s a bit of a stretch to say it’s worse than X-Men: The Last Stand. But that’s just my opinion, y’know.

Honestly, as long as any superhero film has nothing as braindead as a jar of piss labeled “Granny’s Peach Tea” or anything as contrived as two guys’ moms sharing the same first name, they can’t be all that terrible.

So E3 was the same ol’ from last year: A bunch of all-CG trailers for more grimdark first-person shooters, AAA games that will be glitchy messes and look worse than their E3 demos *cough*Watch_Dogs 2* when they release this holiday season, and Virtual Reality bullshit that I don’t believe will ever catch on. Stop trying to make VR a thing, gaming industry. And yet The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, a game that is coming to consoles, one that is on its last legs and the other hasn’t even been revealed yet, the only game Nintendo showcased at E3, won best of show. What does that tell you about the current state of the gaming industry?

Continue reading

The Asterisk War (Part 2) // First Impressions

From left to right: Discount Cecilia Alcott who's thirsty for the protagonist's dick. Abusive tsundere bitch whom every whim the protagonist must abide by. Every light novel protagonist cliché molded into one. Imouto substitute/lolicon fapbait with an annoying diabetes voice. Absent-minded airhead with none of the charms of an airhead.

From left to right: Discount Cecilia Alcott who’s thirsty for the protagonist’s dick.
Abusive tsundere bitch whom every whim the protagonist must abide by.
Every light novel protagonist cliché molded into one.
Imouto substitute/lolicon fapbait with an annoying diabetes voice.
Absent-minded airhead with none of the charms of an airhead.

Remember when i said that Asterisk War‘s ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it? Well, Part 2 is now airing and now it’s time for me to fire up the lawnmower.

Let’s do a little statistical info, shall we? In the season of Fall 2015, the first part of The Asterisk War was ranked #5 on Anime-Planet’s most watched list, ranked higher than actually watchable, if not of actual quality shows than Asterisk War, such as Beautiful Bones, Concrete Revolutio, Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans, even Perfect Insider (A-1’s less awful but actually watchable series from that season); even shows that don’t interest me but I’m well aware of their popularity, like continuing seasons of Haikyuu!! and Yuru Yuri.

The problem is that Ass War is nothing but a colossal screwup on almost everything it does that it’s not deserving of any popularity. Its action scenes are essentially like those seen in the Transformers films: A jumbled mess that’s all over the place, and you’re confused on what’s happening until it’s over, but it looks flashy and cool so you don’t care. The characters are nothing but walking clichés of usual character archetypes. The story and setting is so “been there, done that” that pretty much any other show has done it much better.

So why is Asterisk War popular, yet godawful? Because Aniplex has your dick. They’ve had it since Sword Art Online. You’ve told them that shows with self-insert wish-fulfillment Gary Stu protagonists without a shred of personality, cute waifus with big boobs and nice butts, and absolutely no effort in creativity are what you want, and they’ve given it to you, and you complied without questioning the actual quality. I think one of the reasons why last season’s Erased was ultra-popular was because it was outside of A-1’s norm. When they give the newest thing that looks different and interesting than whatever they usually give, everyone acts like it’s God’s gift.

No point in overthinking this, because it’s not worth a single thought because it’s not like any thought was put into it in the first place. Asterisk War is yet another pile of uninspired garbage churned out by Aniplex and A-1 Pictures, a duo that gives not a single care about quality as long as it makes them money. And the second half begins just as generic and crappy as it was when we last left it.

The Ass War (Part 2) gets 1 lawsuit from Lucasfilms, coming right up out of 5.

Seasonal Anime Reviews: Fall 2015

Deck the halls with boughs of TRAITOR!, Fa la la la la la la la!

Seasonal Thoughts: My goodness, I don’t think I’ve seen a season this bad in a long while. Like the only things worth watching this season in my eyes were One-Punch Man and Gundam. If it were up to me, I’d have dropped everything that started in this season except for those two. It’s no longer OK for me to say Fall 2013 was the worst anime season, especially since this season and every season of 2014 except Fall happened.

And let me tell you something: These generic harem/magic high school junk needs to have a moratorium on them, alongside “OW THE EDGE” and “You’re in the game!” anime. Asterisk War, World Break, Chivalry of a Failed Knight, Absolute Duo, Sky Wizards Academy, Infinite Stratos, and what have you. You’ve seen any one of these, you’ve seen all of them. You have hundred of other possible settings yet you choose a school because how else will the teenage males insert themselves onto the brain-dead protagonists? You get two or three of these per season. Stop it.

And what else should stop is showing the spoiler-y parts of the film in movie trailers? Batman v. Superman, I’m looking directly at you. If there was a trailer that derailed even the slightest interest I’ve had in this movie, it was definitely this one. Terminator: Genisys did the same thing, and that was a deal-killer. And don’t even get me started on Batman having a gun. Yeah, at this point, I’m not regretting my choice in only sticking with Marvel Cinematic Universe and X-Men movies, so that leaves me with 4 superhero films in 2016, 5 if Gambit is still on track.

So what did I think of The Force Awakens? Well, there won’t be any sugarcoating here; I’m going to be blunt about it. IT WAS AMAZE-BALLS! J.J. FOUND A WAY!!!

Continue reading

The Asterisk War: The Academy City on the Water // First Impressions

Screenshot - 10_3_2015 , 8_55_19 AMSo this next one is of those that can be filed under generic supernatural school battle harem light novel anime. We’ve been getting a few of these junks per season, and if you ask me, that’s a few too many. Really, you just need to watch one to watch ’em all. But apparently this one has had some pre-release buzz, so might as well check at least one out.

The Asterisk War: The Academy City on the Water, A-1 Pictures adaptation of Yuu Miyazaki’s light novel, is set in a time where after the world was struck with a unknown disaster known as Invertia. At the same time, it has also gave birth to the Starpulse Generation of Genestella, humans with special abilities. At the Academy City on the Water, Rikka, also known as Asterisk, six schools that train these Genestella for combat take part in battle tournaments known as Star Wars Festivals, or Festas.

So The Asterisk War has been getting some pre-release buzz from Aniplex, with it having trailer premieres at a few American anime conventions, such as Sakuracon and Anime Central. And let me tell you. This kind of junk does not even deserve a bit of it. And neither do you. You deserve better than this and you’re not gonna find it here in Star Wars— er, Asterisk War. It’s not that good of a first episode at all. It’s about as generic as generic supernatural school battle harem light novel anime can get. Also, more lightsabers? Oh, and Star Wars Festivals? Do you want Disney to sue the pants off you, Aniplex? I’m not gonna file this under piece of overhyped crap just yet, but it is Aniplex and A-1 Pictures, so it’s not like you expected any better.