Sword Art Online #23: Cousins in Arms

Screenshot - 12_9_2012 , 4_07_28 PM

So after that awful case of NTR the previous episode, Kirito is probably gonna ignore that ever happened and go back to saving that one girl he met online, therefore learning absolutely nothing.

I’m gonna need me a drink when all this is over. Hopefully, I can get wasted enough for me to forget this show exists.

Screenshot - 12_9_2012 , 4_08_09 PM

The episode begins with confirming my suspicions about Kazuto: At the age of 10, he’s always felt distant from the rest of his family, only finding true happiness not in loved ones, but in online video games.

Kinda hard to look happy when you look like a teenage Tommy Wiseau, Kazuto

Kinda hard to look happy when you look like a teenage Tommy Wiseau, Kazuto

INCONSISTENCY ALART: If you recall the end of Episode 14, after waking up, Kazuto immediately walked out of his hospital room in search of what’s-her-face, saying to muscular atrophy “Fuck you, I’m the protagonist.” Here, we see him in his room with his family. What, did he run back to his room when he learned his family is visiting?

Riiiight, tell the girl whose heart you just broke in half to meet you back online.

Riiiight, tell the girl whose heart you just broke in half to meet you back online.

Anyway, Suguha logs back in, only to be greeted by Recon, who has taken an opportunity to gain her admiration after Kirito pretty much dumped her.

betarecon

Unfortuantely, Leafa’s smart enough not to fall for some beta loser. Anyway, she meets up with Kirito and decide to resume the duel they had some episodes ago. After less than a minute of fighting, they stop to embrace each other in midair while spinning around for no reason at all.

So after they reconcile, they enlist Recon in their raid on the World Tree. And at that moment, Recon realizes he’s been friendzoned again. Anyway, as Yui analyzed during the previous battle, it turns out the guardians aren’t very strong, but they make it up with overwhelming numbers. At his current stats, the best option is to break through using speed.

So while Kirito draws the guardians away, Leafa and Recon use their magic to heal Kirito when needed. If you ask me, this proves that Kirito was dumb to take on the Grand Quest all by himself. Anyway, the guardians begin targeting Leafa and Recon, so Recon gets a moment of badass to himself by using self-destruct magic to destroy most of the guardians. He’s still beta.

I'm beginning to think that large tits come standard for Sylph females.

I’m beginning to think that large tits come standard for Sylph females.

Anyway, the Sylph-Cait Sith alliance come in to render Recon’s sacrifice senseless . I’ll be honest, I forgot about these two and their plan. I guess when you watch a show as atrocious as this, you forget shit. Also, Kirito takes Leafa’s sword, as if she ever had any use for it when he was around, and does this.

What is this? Seriously, WHAT is this, other than some brand new, never-before-seen/heard of/used skill that was pulled straight out of his ass?


What is this? Seriously, WHAT is this, other than some brand new, never-before-seen/heard of/used skill that was pulled straight out of his ass?

So now that everyone served their purpose since Kirito used Deus ex Machina skill #500-something to break through the guardians’ wall of defense, Kirito finds himself in front of a door leading to an area that’s off-limits to players. Using the key card he got, he opens the door and teleports inside, thus bringing a close to yet another standard SAO episode.

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